Republican Hopefuls

“I just want to talk to you about our economy, about what’s happening to American families. Middle-income Americans, the average American, ought to have the highest income in the world.” — Mitt Romney. So,what happens to all the highest-income Americans? But if highest income Americans then become middle Americans, then *HEAD EXPLODE*

“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?‘ Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now… They know government is on a morbid obesity [...]

Apparently, according to Rick Perry, the troubled economy is God’s fault. Or God’s way of telling us to get things together. Or something. Next thing you know, religious fundamentalists will go blaming the East Coast Earthquake on gay marriage. Oh wait…

“What people recognize is that there’s a fear that the United States is in an unstoppable decline. They see the rise of China, the rise of India, the rise of the Soviet Union and our loss militarily going forward.” -Michele Bachmann

“Before we get started, let’s all say ‘Happy Birthday to Elvis Presley today” – Michele Bachman, on the anniversary of Elvis’ death.

Because that Newsweek cover wasn’t embarassing enough.